(42) [X]Snipes: next one that asks us how to play i'm going to mess with.
Snipes: i'll think up some sort of sadistic web marathon for him to run in order to play the game
* xXShiveRXx has joined #Vast_Empire
xXShiveRXx: 13yo guys
xXShiveRXx: how do i play the game
Snipes: just a second
xXShiveRXx: i cant find out
xXShiveRXx: do i neeed to download a server?
Snipes: i said give me a minute
Snipes: i'm dredging up the instruction page.
DarkJedi: what are you playing?
xXShiveRXx: the game?
* Kami giggles madly
* DarkJedi stops
Snipes: oh god, no, no, no I lost my link file
xXShiveRXx: im playing vastempire...
Kami: That's really bad
Angel: i found it snipes
Snipes: not the one i'm thinking of
xXShiveRXx: has it bad
Kami: I'm gonna go play
* Kami is now known as Kami|PlayingVE
Darr-Rann: I'll join you Kami
Angel: me too
Darr-Rann: Meet you on Tadath?
Kami|PlayingVE: Sounds good
* Darr-Rann is now known as Darr-VE
* Angel is now known as Angel|PlayingVE
Angel|PlayingVE: I'm still on Lopen
Kami|PlayingVE: Just hop a shuttle
Angel|PlayingVE: it was destroyed by rebels
Angel|PlayingVE: I'm stuck
Kami|PlayingVE: Oki, I'll pick you up
* DarkJedi has run out of ic's so cant get there
Angel|PlayingVE: can you do a rescue mission?
xXShiveRXx: how do i play............. im in the navy in stormtroopers so how do i play.....
Kami|PlayingVE: I don't know if I've got enough resources
Angel|PlayingVE: well i can try to send you some of mine
Darr-VE: I guess you'll have to wait angel
Angel|PlayingVE: but i used them all to build my death star
Angel|PlayingVE: which the damn rebels blew up too
Kami|PlayingVE: Yeah, that's not cool
Darr-VE: I'd fly my ship there and pick you up, but my pilot rank is too low
Kami|PlayingVE: They blew up mine as well :(
Kami|PlayingVE: I'm at rank six :D
Angel|PlayingVE: I was at rank 8
Angel|PlayingVE: but then i broke my leg
Angel|PlayingVE: now i'm rank 5
Kami|PlayingVE: No one reaches rank 8
Angel|PlayingVE: not a lie!
Snipes: i think i saw it once
Angel|PlayingVE: I grinded my piloting skill for days
Snipes: it was pretty cool
Angel|PlayingVE: then a bantha stepped on me
Darr-VE: I dunno, I've spent too much time working on my Blaster Fighting Rank
Angel|PlayingVE: blasters are for noobs
Darr-VE: neglected my pilot rank
Angel|PlayingVE: I have lightsaber rank 20
Kami|PlayingVE: Doesn't being a dark jedi give you +5 piloting skill?
Snipes: probably how he got rank 8
Darr-VE: I'm too long of a combat level to start training in lightsaber
Angel|PlayingVE: only if you spec that way
Kami|PlayingVE: Ah, ok
Angel|PlayingVE: have to put points in the naval talent tree
Snipes: i've been grinding my drinking level for days and days, I can almost beat that gamorean in mos eisley.
Kami|PlayingVE: Wow :D
Angel|PlayingVE: yah he's a big pig
Angel|PlayingVE: my drinking level is no where near his
Snipes: yeah, but after geting my ship blown up by those pirates i've been stuck on tatooine.
Kami|PlayingVE: Omg...my corvette just malfunctioned
Angel|PlayingVE: that sucks
Angel|PlayingVE: first rebels
Angel|PlayingVE: now pirates
Darr-VE: I'm the lowest pilot rank, and I'm the only one with a ship :)
Angel|PlayingVE: gah! not the corvette
Angel|PlayingVE: now im stranded
Kami|PlayingVE: I'm on Endor
Angel|PlayingVE: hah! ewoks gonna get you!
Darr-VE: Ewoks are weak
Angel|PlayingVE: they get +20 attack power versus Stormtroopers
Snipes: i got pwnd by ewoks
DarkJedi: i'm on tatooine i'll meat you at the cantina
Kami|PlayingVE: I'm gonna get pwned
Darr-VE: Good for training your weapon ranks though
xXShiveRXx: can some1 tell me how do i play
Snipes: alright, i'm still there
xXShiveRXx: waer do i go to play
Angel|PlayingVE: wait! theres a star destrotyer above Lopen
Kami|PlayingVE: My co pilot just got killed by a swarm of ewoks
Angel|PlayingVE: I'll force jump up to it and hijack it
DarkJedi: did i just put meat?
Kami|PlayingVE: Oki, then come get me please
Angel|PlayingVE: will do
xXShiveRXx: do i need igc?
Kami|PlayingVE: They're distracted at the moment...finishing off my co-pilot
Angel|PlayingVE: the star destroyer is full of ewoks too!
Snipes: wow, glitch
Kami|PlayingVE: Oh noes
Kami|PlayingVE: Major glitch
Angel|PlayingVE: its ok..i jjust learned force-lightning rank 6
Arnaut: My ISD just dissappeared
Angel|PlayingVE: i'm pwning them
Angel|PlayingVE: fry little bears fry!
Arnaut: anyone have this glitch too?
Arnaut: wait, i found it
Snipes: it's been glitchy today
Kami|PlayingVE: I shouldn't have specced in cooking, my cream puff pie is doing shite against these ewoks
Arnaut: all my crew is dead now though
Angel|PlayingVE: sweet i just dinged level 60
* DarkJedi just lost 10.000 ic's playing cards
* xXShiveRXx has quit IRC (Quit: Leaving )
Snipes: yeah, you'll always lose agains solo, don't even bother
(41) [X]<Saint> Blow Me Kadbot
<KadBot> alrighty then
(35) [X]<Darr-Rann> My first act as King-Emporer will be to make correcting the King-Emporer's spelling a crime punishable by death.
(34) [X]<Atrick25> I feel sad :(
<Atrick25> My kitty is gonna get put down :(
* Toks huggles Atrick and gives him a cookie
* C-3PX2|Drawing steals the cookie and runs
* Atrick25 still feels sad :(
* Toks gives Atrick another cookie
* Atrick25 gives Kadbot a cookie
* KadBot wonders if Atrick25 likes cat food
<Doc> ... How insensitive can you be Kadbot?
(32) [X]<Tomas> but I do need a girlfriend
<Tomas> hey Saph, get my comnet message?
<Decem> awkward time to ask that Tom
(32) [X][+Riel_Fury] Oh, fury, where do babies really come from?
[+Fury] well, the ugly ones come from Epic's mom
[+Fury] every other mother seems to have relatively cute ones
* +Epic looks at Fury dumb struck
[+Epic] Hey now old man, I get called cute at least once a day. Screw off.
[+Fury] how ARE classes at the school of the blind anyway?
[+Epic] I hate you.
[+Fury] I know.
(32) [X]<Kadann> bow down to me
* Cosmic bows
* Kadann reaches over and gives cosmic a weggie
<Kadann> welcome to the djo
(28) [X]<Cosmic> keep voting. we're two votes away from topping 3d sex games
<Riel_Fury> sorry, I'm voting for 3d sex games
<Cosmic> they get old
(25) [X]<BigGreenDude> jailbait, tossing the salad, dropping the soap
<BigGreenDude> pick your analogy
<Wicket> ill toss the salad
(24) [X]* Snipes bites Truth
<Snipes> I should get venom sacks implanted, so when I bite it means something
<Truth[Writing]> You should
<Dax> that doesn't seem physicaly possible...
<Snipes> It would be if I were rich
<Truth[Writing]> We're in the SW universe, people can get datachips implemented into their brains
<Snipes> No, no. I want them here, on this side of the screen
<Snipes> it'd be cool if they were refillable too, so i could put orange juice in there and be able to suck it out of my fangs when I was thirsty
<Dax> then I will say it again. that doesn't seem physialcly possible.
* Truth[Writing] shrugs
<Snipes> It would be if I were rich
<Truth[Writing]> Let's put it this way, they can make a man into a woman and a woman into a man, lord knows what else they can do
<Snipes> yes, and instead of an extra dang-a-lang I want venom sacks
(24) [X]<Cosmic> meeting a gal tomorrow
<Truth[Writing]> COS HAS A DATE! END OF THE WORLD!
<Cosmic> studying for econ.
<Truth[Writing]> Oh, carry on
(23) [X]<Saint> My god, my clothes hamper has more empty liquor bottles in it than clothes
<ANT> buy more clothes
<Saint> and one very cofused bottle of itallian dressing
(22) [X]<GSG_Hashi> I once saw a whole bus-load (literally bus-load) of supposedly celibate Buddhist monks pull into a red-light district alleyway once
<GSG_Hashi> and they were all grinning their butts off in their saffron robes
<GSG_Hashi> creepiest thing
<GG_Fury> maybe they were just getting their bellies rubbed?
* GG_Fury feels dirty all of a sudden
(21) [X]<Judge_Doc> The court will now come to session
<Judge_Doc> In the verdict of Wicket's sexuality how does the prosecution charge?
<Ally_McBeal> I have evidence!
<Perry_Mason> your honor, if it please the court, i shall show that the defendant is as queer as the day is long, or at the least...asexual
<Judge_Doc> And the defendant responses?
<Ally_McBeal> not guilty, it's natural to experiment
<Defendant_Wicket> umm i disagree!
* Ally_McBeal punches wicket, 'shut up!'
<Defendant_Wicket> listen to her
<Ally_McBeal> my honor I'd like to show you evidence a
<Perry_Mason> first off the defendent seems to love his musicals
<Perry_Mason> <The_Wickster> the hills are alive with the sound of music
<Perry_Mason> <Fury> the hills will be alive with the sounds of flogging if you don't stop being tone deaf
<Ally_McBeal> the judge enjoys musicals as well
<Judge_Doc> The judge is not on trial
<Ally_McBeal> in fact most musicals are written by straight men
<Perry_Mason> he also, from time to time, asks to engage in man on man action
<Perry_Mason> <BigGreenDude> jailbait, tossing the salad, dropping the soap
<Perry_Mason> <BigGreenDude> pick your analogy
<Perry_Mason> <Wicket> ill toss the salad
<Ally_McBeal> the boy is an innocent youth, he could have meant the actualy vegetable salad
<Ally_McBeal> people of the court look at this evidence and my point will come clear
<Judge_Doc> I fail to see the connection of the link to this case
<Judge_Doc> Would you care to elaborate?
<Ally_McBeal> obviously wicket is a man of small mouth, therefore he couldn't get a male body part into his mouth
<Ally_McBeal> by having a smaller mouth by evolution he's suited for more female oriented activities
<Judge_Doc> But not for perhaps lack of trying?
<Ally_McBeal> maybe in his youth, but this is and arguement of the present
<Perry_Mason> i object to this obvious misdirection, she's stalling, your honor
<Ally_McBeal> shut up old man you just hate the vagina
<Ally_McBeal> well he does
<Judge_Doc> Ojection substained, please provide more direct evidence
<Judge_Doc> Plus, you fail to account for the other orifice
<Ally_McBeal> well that's easy, wicket has no ass
* Defendant_Wicket gasps
<Defendant_Wicket> I object!
* Ally_McBeal puts up pcitures
<Ally_McBeal> as you can see where the rectum is suppose to be, there is nothing
<Judge_Doc> Objection... substained the jury will disregard the defense on behalf of the defendant
<Ally_McBeal> we assume that his waste is removed from hi body through his sweat glands
Perry_Mason> i object, this is all hearsay, she has not provided one iota of proof from the quotebook to establish her clients hetero-ness
<Ally_McBeal> quotebooks can be tampered with your honor
<Judge_Doc> There is sufficient mantience to ensure that does not happen
* Defendant_Wicket makes out with his lawyer
<Perry_Mason> your honor, a quote from the defendent himself
<Perry_Mason> <Wicket> booo!
<Perry_Mason> <Wicket> :P
<Perry_Mason> <Wicket> i look like the girl from captian planet?
<Ally_McBeal> I know for a fact that the defendant is not gay
* Tomas gasps from the back of the room at the defendant's statement
<Ally_McBeal> because I being a quirky woman working in an all man world have slept with him!
* Tomas brings forward the video proof >.>
<Ally_McBeal> bow chicka bow wow
<Ally_McBeal> tomas is a witness to that
<Judge_Doc> Interesting, 15 minute recess while I watch this in my private room.
<Tomas> actually, you just asked me to hold onto it
<Perry_Mason> for the sake of fairness, i think this vid should be posted on the net for all to see
<Ally_McBeal> your old you cant get it up anymore
<Perry_Mason> try me sometime you boney temptress you
<Judge_Doc> Order! I will not have the lawyers attack one another. You are here to assist in determining the case.
<Ally_McBeal> we weren't going to attack each other....
<Judge_Doc> Sex in this courtroom is also prohibited
<Judge_Doc> Carry on with the evidence and charges
<Perry_Mason> frther evidence your honor
<Perry_Mason> <Mad-Hatter> http://www.pyzam.com/img/funnypics/people/embarrass%5B1%5D.jpg
<Perry_Mason> <Wicket> paha
<Perry_Mason> <Wicket> for some reason i want some pop now
<Judge_Doc> The defense responds?
* Defendant_Wicket raises his hand
<Judge_Doc> Go ahead
<Defendant_Wicket> its a woman and a guy
<Defendant_Wicket> NOT a guy and a guy
<Judge_Doc> Quite true
<Ally_McBeal> well obviously he was the woman to suck his manbits that's why the quote was said
<Judge_Doc> However it would appear that the woman is the one that appears to take the 'pop'
<Perry_Mason> he's also prone to bouts of cross dressing
<Perry_Mason> <Wicket> i get to wear make up tomorrow!!!
<Ally_McBeal> he's also in a theatre group
<Ally_McBeal> lets ask him shall we, wicket do you like woman's breasts?
<Defendant_Wicket> of course
<Judge_Doc> You wish to call Wicket to the witness stand?
* Defendant_Wicket has tomas escort him to the witness stand
* Baliff_Tomas holds out a Bible, waiting for Wicket to put his hand on it
* Defendant_Wicket does that
<Baliff_Tomas> Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God?
<Defendant_Wicket> i do
* Baliff_Tomas takes the bible away and goes off to the side
<Judge_Doc> You may continue
<Ally_McBeal> Wicket, now remember you're under oath, what gives you a hard on a.manbits, b. breasts, c. animals
<Judge_Doc> Please rephrase the question, you are directing.
<Ally_McBeal> its multiple choice your honor
<Judge_Doc> You limit his selection
<Ally_McBeal> wicket have you ever loved a woman
<Perry_Mason> objection, we dont know his definition of woman
<Ally_McBeal> shhh I'm getting to that
<Judge_Doc> Overruled, Defense please continue with that
[<Ally_McBeal> ahem I repeat wicket have you ever really loved a woman?
<Ally_McBeal> To understand her?
<Ally_McBeal> know her deep inside?
<Perry_Mason> oooo yeah
<Ally_McBeal> Hear every thought - see every dream
<Ally_McBeal> N' give her wings - when she wants to fly?
<Ally_McBeal> Then when you find yourself lyin' helpless in her arms ?
<Ally_McBeal> Ya know ya really love a woman?
<Defendant_Wicket> not that much
<Ally_McBeal> When you love a woman
<Ally_McBeal> you tell her that she's really wanted
<Defendant_Wicket> ok well then no
<Ally_McBeal> When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one
<Ally_McBeal> Cuz she needs somebody to tell her
<Ally_McBeal> that you'll always be together
<Ally_McBeal> So tell me have you ever really -
<Ally_McBeal> really really ever loved a woman?
<Defendant_Wicket> i said no!
* Baliff_Tomas hears the courtroom fall silent
<Ally_McBeal> wicket are you a virgin?
* Perry_Mason snickers at defense for making job easier
<Ally_McBeal> finish this song
<Ally_McBeal> and this song backstreets back......
<Judge_Doc> Is there a point to this?
<Perry_Mason> no, let her finish
<Ally_McBeal> well I'm seeing how many gay songs he knows
<Judge_Doc> I fail to see the releveance, as you would know the songs yourself
<Ally_McBeal> but would wicket, and I'm a girl
* Judge_Harry_Anderson mumbles "touche" as he eats popcorn
* Ally_McBeal unbuttons blouse, 'see'
* Judge_Doc blinks
* Perry_Mason applauds fine breasteses
* Judge_Harry_Anderson suddenly doesn't need a gavel
<Ally_McBeal> how does your honor judge my breasts?
<Judge_Doc> Your.. breasts are not on trial..
<Perry_Mason> i vote spectacular
<Ally_McBeal> do you want them to be?
<Ally_McBeal> at least on you...trail?
<Judge_Doc> Can we return to the matter at hand please?
<Perry_Mason> your honor, i must leave due to a prior engagement, i defer to baliff tomas
<Judge_Doc> Do you have any further questions for the defense?
<Ally_McBeal> I have more evidence your honor
* Judge_Doc nods to Perry
<Judge_Doc> Please bring forth
<Ally_McBeal> <Wicket> im still in her
<Ally_McBeal> seeing as her refers to a female
<Ally_McBeal> as well as
<Ally_McBeal> <Dax> Miranda Cosgrove is my future wife
<Ally_McBeal> <Wicket> is she famous?
<Ally_McBeal> <Dax> yea, she plays on Icarly
<Ally_McBeal> <Wicket> oooo
<Ally_McBeal> <Wicket> i used to watch that
<Ally_McBeal> <Wicket> i like addy singer
<Ally_McBeal> <Wicket> ill marry her
<Ally_McBeal> <Wicket> yes it does
<Ally_McBeal> <Wicket> lol
<Ally_McBeal> <Dax> :( but the love calculator says I have a 16% chance
<Ally_McBeal> <Wicket> lol
<Ally_McBeal> Comment: And you thought you had to worry about wicket.
<Ally_McBeal> wicket actually admiting he wanted to marry a female...with a vagina!
<Ally_McBeal> naturally born that way
<Judge_Doc> Any further questions?
<Ally_McBeal> how about we say this, because I have to get to bed
<Judge_Doc> Or shall the prosecution come forward?
<Ally_McBeal> if he is he is we'll still love him anyway
<Defendant_Wicket> and if im not?
<Ally_McBeal> then I'll see you after the trail
<Defendant_Wicket> sounds like a plan
* Ally_McBeal drags wicket out of the courtroom and under the table
* Judge_Doc shrugs
* Judge_Doc declares mistrial
Comment: The verdict still pending...
(21) [X]<Kiption> My mom is such a kid
<Kiption> She just laughed for like 30 mins about the carpet getting laid
(21) [X]<Rizzit> if its okay with u im going to start working with kami right away though
<Fury> do it
<Rizzit> cause I know she'll be a definate
<Fury> she needs to quit loafing anyway
<Fury> or hell, what about Mara? not sure how busy she actually CAN be tho
<Rizzit> I'll do them both
<Rizzit> actually yeah
<Fury> you wish
<Rizzit> not like that u sick, sick man ;p
<Rizzit> I meant I'll train them both
<Fury> i bet you will
(20) [X]* Trevor sticks his chest out, puts his index fingers near his nipples pointing outward and yells 'force lightning!'
(20) [X]<Garet> I do too many activities that require me to use my hand muscles >.<
(19) [X]<Ae> fuck...
<KadBot> Ae, Please watch your language. Refer to the CoCs for this channel at http://www.vastempire.com/main.cfm?ref=coc. This is your first warning.
<Tomas> lol Ae
<KadBot> Ae, Please watch your language. This is your second warning.
<Doc> It depends on how the work is coded into his parseing
<Doc> that word has more wildcards than most
<Ae> I guess he's trained in all of the ways of the fuck
(19) [X]<Kand> We abolished Doc's ability to grammatically own people after we ran out of paper to list the victims on
<Tibbs> You put an accent on it?
<Tibbs> It doesn't take much to excite me.
<Helena> We can tell..
(18) [X]* Helena|Kand ([email protected]) Quit (Quit: VE Rules!)
(fifteen minutes pass in silence)
* Helena|Kand ([email protected]) has joined #wraith
<&Doc> wb you two
<Helena|Kand> Thank you :)
<&Doc> I don't need to know what went on in those 15 minutes
<Helena|Kand> Not as much as id of hoped
(18) [X]<Helena> Kand, can I blow you?
<Kand> I have absolutely no comical response to that
<Helena> Haha :p
* Helena gets her hairdryer
<Kand> Ah, you were thinking of that!
<Kand> So was I!
<Helena> Riiight ;)
(18) [X]* Marka burns Dante's peak, "Let's see you have children now!"
* Dante calls for Kadbot to help
* KadBot puts up a sign with Dante's picture reading 'Wanted Dead or Alive: Reward 500,000 ICs!!'
* Nams|Mira shoots dante
<Nams|Mira> kadbot I killed dante how much do I get?
<KadBot> Nams|Mira, No credits for you!
(17) [X]<Tomas> Im sitting off to the side chuckling until you say the next line
<Tomas> to which I give a face like I saw a ghost/swallowed a piece of come
(17) [X]<Grunty> you wouldn't believe the stuff that you can find in my hole